Power is a natural core human desire.

There are 3 main reasons why people want power:

FREEDOM (AUTONOMY) – The ability to resist the influence of others and circumstances.

CHARISMA – The ability to get people to like you.

INFLUENCE – The ability to have influence or control over others (including responsibility over them).

We want these things because they give you the ability to control things (or to be able to change them) so that they fit your version of reality.

Here are 4 ways you can start cultivating personal power right now:


Complaining is expressing annoyance or dissatisfaction.  Complaining makes you focus on the problem instead of the solution to the problem.  And, wherever you direct your energy, is what you’ll get more of.  So if you complain about the problem, you’ll just have more of the problem.

Examples of this would be venting and complaining to your friends, family, and co-workers  or venting on social media.  We all know someone who’s entire facebook feed is entirely made up of whiney posts about how this went wrong and that went wrong, and this person offended them…blah blah blah.

People who constantly complain are seen as weak, others tend to avoid them.  It shows people that they are not in charge of their life, and who wants that kind of person around them?  Do you?

That’s what I thought.

Nobody wants to hang out with Bitter-Betty.


“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” – Marcus Aurelius

Victim-mentality is an acquired personality trait.  It is a reaction to ones experience, it is not something you’re born with.  This way of thinking can lead to helplessness and despair.

Even if you have grounds for it, blaming other people or circumstances removes you from the control seat.  Someonething or someone has robbed you of your freedom (your autonomy).

Psychological profile of victimization:

  • constant feeling of helplessness
  • passivity
  • loss of control
  • pessimism
  • strong feelings of guilt, shame, self-bame
  • depression

Lets look at an example of Victim-Talk vs Power-Talk:

VICTIM-TALK: I can’t lose weight because I don’t have motivation.
POWER-TALK: I am more motivated to watch TV and eat junk food than I am to workout.

If you found yourself relating to the first statement, you are a ‘victim’ of victim-mentality.  With the Power-Talk statement you are owning the reason for why you haven’t lost weight – it’s a choice not to – and this line of thinking puts you into position of power.

By now you should know that being in a position of power gives you that ability to control the desired outcome.  That means if you really wanted to change you would and you could.  How beautiful is that?


Know what’s important to you and what you have a high opinion of.

Stay true to these values and enforce them at all cost.

When you don’t know what you value, you can easily become someone else’s bitch. You may get suckered into other people’s ideas and values, and this may lead you astray.


To improve something means to being it to a more desirable sate, you make it better, you enhance it’s quality, value and usefulness.

In order to improve, you first have to know what you are dealing with, and then set higher standards.

Then you consistently monitor, evaluate, and adjust your:

  • life
  • relationships
  • self-care
  • attitude
  • personal beliefs

Stay clear of complacency so that you can meet your higher standards, and rid yourself of your lower level habits.

By now, you should have a general idea of how to become more successful.

You can find more self-improvement strategies in my YES YOU CAN program.